Ecclesiastes 4:10 “If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up.”
Have you ever wondered why we use the term “social distancing” instead of something simpler and more straightforward like “physical distancing?” Think about it. We are being urged to forego human touch, to hide our faces from one another, and to regard ourselves and our fellow humans as potential threats, the bearers of hidden contamination. Whether intentional or not, social distancing suggests detachment from society.
Over these past months of the COVID-19 scare I am grateful for the companionship of family and friends. This past Friday evening we celebrated the engagement of my youngest daughter, Hailey. Sitting unmasked and un-distanced around a sumptuous feast in our backyard, it was easy to feel as if things had returned to normal, as if the fretful news reports, stern government edicts, lost jobs, and small business failures were just vague memories from a bad dream. Away from home, I have experienced a few blissful times like these, but mostly a feeling of alienation. I wear a mask where required, but where not, I’ve received withering glares for baring my face in public. People veer away in fear as I trudge the sidewalk or supermarket aisle, a Quasimodo emerging from the shadows.
Reflect on this recent article in Psychology Today: “Solitary confinement is considered the worst punishment a human can receive. In fact, most civilized communities consider it a form of torture. … Isolating individuals is perhaps the most common first step domestic abusers use to gain power and control over their victims. He or she begins to control who you can see, where you can go, what you can wear. When a person violates the rules set by the perpetrator the punishment is harsh and swift. Social distancing, as it has been presented, can feel like that. … Becoming socially isolated may keep the majority of us alive, but not well.”
I am by nature not a rule follower – that is, unless I can understand the purpose behind a rule, supported by both facts and logic. I find it especially challenging to conform to dictates that constantly change, which are arbitrarily suspended for a cause and then roar back with greater ferocity immediately afterwards, and where statistical inputs are selectively chosen to suit the preferred narrative (for example, “cases” initially meant hospitalizations, now the term means any positive test; yet the shrinking mortality percentage is not mentioned). We have been ordered into isolation because of supposed ravages I see nowhere among first- and second-hand connections.
According to a 2018 US Census Bureau report, nearly 36 million Americans (28% of all households) live alone. The percentage has more than doubled since 1960 and the trend shows no sign of waning. Another survey reports that 22% of all Millennials, considered the loneliest of generations, have no friends at all. Now, what are COVID social barriers doing to these people? What is their sustained effect on even the highly connected members of the population?
While there is a time and season for everything, including “a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing” (Ecclesiastes 3:5), God designed human beings for social connections, not distance. It is wise to be careful around the elderly and those with serious and chronic health issues (aka, comorbidities), but we must also be wise and purposeful about staying connected. Sustained isolation detaches relationships, turns fellow humans into “The Other,” and produces malignant loneliness. There is power in isolation – power to harm us. But we overcome this power when we stay connected: Ecclesiastes 4:12 “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
Father, you declared that it is not good for man to be alone. The mortal Enemy of our souls, who always schemes for what is not good for us, is working to divide human beings in numerous ways, and now in a novel, worldwide way. By your power, please guard us against surrendering to deadly isolation and help us share your joy and love and fellowship with the lonely people around us.
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This week: Call a friend. Better, invite a friend to your home or a long walk or a meal at a struggling local restaurant. Smile often. Speak encouragement to one another. Find ways this week to connect with your fellow human beings.